Resistance To Change

Jan 06 2008

Published by Roger at 7:54 pm under Personal Development

Zutydorp Cliffs Western Australia
Photo by Fastskybus

Last month I wrote a couple of articles about making changes in our lives

I’ve been thinking some more about this subject and have been reminded of a CD set by Richard Wilkins which mentions change.

Broadly speaking, change in our lives can be categorised in 2 ways - changes that are imposed upon us where we have little or no choice e.g.

Illness
Redundancy
One of our children leaves home to go to college etc.
Our computer breaks down

And changes we choose to make e.g.

Our New Year Resolutions
Moving home
Learning new skills
Improving physical fitness

In the first category we are resistant to the changes happening because they are not of our choosing. In the second category we may be resistant through fear of change itself, fear of making a mistake or other fears I detailed in Ch.. Ch.. Ch.. Ch.. Changes. In either case, resistance can be a strong factor.

Now, there is another way of looking at this…

This resistance often leads to an amount of emotional pain. In fact, is it not the case that all our emotional pain is due to our resistance to change. Just think about that for a minute. Is it true that the only thing that can hurt us emotionally is our resistance to change ?

If that’s true for you, then practising acceptance would reduce emotional pain. Now I’m not suggesting that this is easy but I think it does give a different perspective on the pains associated with change. It’s not the change itself that is painful, it’s not external to us. The pain results from our resistance to that change and our non-acceptance of it. In other words, the source of the pain is inside ourselves.

I’d be really interested in what you think about this. Please do send me a comment.

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10 Responses to “Resistance To Change”

# Life Insurance Lowdown » Blog Archive » Carnival of Life, Happiness and Meaning #29on 13 Jan 2008 at 10:42 am

[…] presents Resistance To Change posted at The Happy and Prosperous Blog. Is it true that the only thing that can hurt us […]
# Wendyon 13 Jan 2008 at 12:57 pm

Hi Roger!

For me, acceptance has always been a powerful state of mind. I used to resist everything - all changes in my life - because I had a big fear of the unknown. I would have rather stayed in miserable circumstances as long as I was familiar and comfortable with them. The newness of change made me feel unsteady and anxious, so I resisted as often as possible.

As I’m sure you can imagine, it’s exhausting, exerting so much energy in resistance! Then I learned the power of surrender. I can’t remember how I discovered it; either I read about it or just spontaneously decided I wasn’t going to “fight” anymore - but WOW, the peace it brings is incredible!

Even more surprising, I realized that surrendering and accepting things I couldn’t change was not the same thing as being defeated and powerless. On the contrary, acceptance creates a stronger, quieter sense of empowerment than force ever could. It’s the difference between feeling like you “have to” deal with certain circumstances (powerlessness), and CHOOSING your focus (empowerment and peace).

And in an ironic twist, this attitude often causes blockages to dissolve and problems to vanish. Not always, but more than you’d think.

Great post!

Wendy

Wendy’s last blog post..Law of Attraction & Timing
# Andre Hess|Empowered Soulon 13 Jan 2008 at 9:26 pm

Hi Roger,

The thought that life imposes changes upon us that we must surrender to is interesting. I think we create ALL of our experiences, and we attract what we need in order to grow and learn. Even the stuff that “happens to us” is what we need and what we have created. Life seems to sometimes hit us with a big stick because that’s what we need in order to move forward out of stagnation. Perhaps we lacked the courage to move forward through conscious choice.

Part of acceptance, for me, is recognizing that I create my experiences … ALL of them, even the messy, gnarly ones. I look at the lessons available through those experiences as a way to remain positive and move through change with courage.

Blessings,
Andrea

Andre Hess|Empowered Soul’s last blog post..Do you want guidance, or a guarantee?
# Rogeron 14 Jan 2008 at 4:58 pm

Hi Andrea,
Thanks for your comments on the post - I agree with you 100% ! I’m certain we do create/attract all of our experiences whether we like them or not. Thank you for pointing out to me that there is still a part of me that resists this idea and for calling me on my sloppy use of language.
Roger
# Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworkeron 21 Jan 2008 at 4:04 am

Thanks for sharing your views on change.

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Blame Keeps You Stuck—Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series—Part 7
# Psychology of Happinesson 06 Feb 2008 at 7:50 pm

That’s right! It’s all about change and the resistance to change.
According to a study conducted by International Institute of Management, social and personal development are a product of managing change, the government and the individual must have sound socioeconomic policies to managechange. Med Yones, the author of the study puts is like this “More has changed in the last decade technologically, culturally, politically and economically than the entire past century. The degree and speed of change has posed enormous challenges for nations, organizations and people. We are all feeling the influence of these changes, whether it’s the global competition, social re-engineering, political and military conflicts, outsourcing or power shifts. Unprecedented global initiatives exert an enormous pressure on the psyche of the average individual and family. In some areas those changes have robbed people of their lifetime investments whether it’s a retirement account, career or a long-term relationship, and in some cases those changes literally stole their souls and their future”.
You can find more about the topic at:

http://www.iim-edu.org/grossnationalhappiness/index.htm
# Rogeron 07 Feb 2008 at 9:40 pm

Thanks for your comment. The thing that struck me in what you said was the quote that more has changed in the last decade than in the entire past century. It puts things into perspective a bit. Resisting change, certainly at a personal level, blocks the flow of life energy, in my view. If this is repeated and repeated I suspect it leads to illness.
# Psychology of Happinesson 08 Feb 2008 at 4:47 am

Good point Roger, resistance leads to stress, stress leads to dis-ease!
# Rogeron 12 Feb 2008 at 8:08 pm

Hi there Psychology of Happiness. I’m convinced that stress leads to disease and not just in the ways we hear about like heart disease. I think it can be a lot more subtle as well.
# Personal Hackon 25 Jul 2008 at 2:19 am

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